When I Look Into Your Cries

Man what a day. I think there is a girl at school who likes me. In fact I think there is more than one. I find that very disturbing to me. Only because a girlfriend would do nothing but distract me and bother me at this point in life. There was a time when I would have loved this but that time is no longer now. Now I find that having a girlfriend would just bother the hell out of me. What really sucks is that one girl that I think likes me is really creepy cuz she was all following me and looking at me strange. I just hope it was a passing moment of horniness that will not carry over into the future. There is another girl who says hi and waves to me all the time and I don't even do that with my friends at school. Well I know that holds as much water as planes crash because of pickles but her friend was looking at me and pointing at me like "WTF? Him?" then she waved to me and left. Oh well whatever happens I guess I'll just move on. If anyone asks me anything I'll just shut them down with my emotionally detached coldness. Although the creepy girl did ask me for my cell phone # and I thanked God at that moment that I didn't have a cell phone. It seems the creepy girl and 2 of her friends have some type of attraction to me because they have all made comments about me in which they say I'm so cool or something to that effect. 2 of them are cool but that group is pretty goth. That group is also pretty shallow and flat. It seems to me that they have somehow looked in few places for happiness and are in the process of looking inward at their own pain and exploring the depths of that for happiness. I went through that and it almost killed me because I quit dealing with my pain, which in mid stages if left undelt with can turn into depression, and started feeding it. I only fed it in late stages and then I tried to get away with it with a knife. I did have a really good conversation today though. I had a cool spiritual conversation with a Mormon kid today and this kid is hardcore. He is brain washed super well by the church and his parents. I tried to build a spiritual base today and I doubt it is fully built but more conversations are sure to keep building it. He is one of the most conservative person that I've ever met. He makes my dad look like a socialist. This kid gets mad all the people who curse and is very much a loner. We do have common ground though, COMPUTERS. He is a geek and I am a nerd/geek. He is kinda cool but his uptightness annoys the crap out of me and his lack of smiling is just irritating. Maybe I can get the guy to loosen up more if I'm lucky. I've tried a lot to get him to keep an open mind when it comes to God as well. I told him that God uses us most when ever we try and expand our comfort zones and that the more we seek after God, the more he will shape us and mold us. He seemed to agree so maybe I can get him to see that there are more things we agree on than he realizes.
Well y'all I am freakin tired. I'll talk to y'all later. Adam 11/04/04 10:14 p.m. - 10:40 p.m.